Let's start here. Most of you who read this know me. Those who don't, let me introduce who I am.
I am the epitome of privilege. I am a white, cis, straight male. I am 6'7", a trait that has its own inherent privilege. I grew up what I will call upper middle class. I cannot for a minute begin to know the struggle of People of Color (POC) in America.
I grew up in a town that had some diversity. There were people of Latinx descent, different Asian descents, but few black families, indigenous, or other POC families. However, I come from a primarily white community in Colorado. I now live in Lincoln, Nebraska.
I've always bristled at the #AllLivesMatter nonsense. Yes, all lives matter. However, until we acknowledge that some lives are not treated equally, the only thing I get from #AllLivesMatter is that your life matters more than others.
Until we can begin to address the systemic inequities that lead to what we're seeing in the United States, #AllLivesMatter is disingenuous. I'm being very kind in saying that.
In fact, the news story that's been front of mind for nearly three months now, but is now being overshadowed by the aftermath of the George Floyd murder in Minneapolis is a good place to start with this conversation. Covid-19 has disproportionately affected communities of color in the United States. Why?
Access to medical care, proximity to one another, lack of health insurance, unequal banking practices, and countless other examples of systemic inequality mean it's harder for POC to fight against virulent pandemics like Covid-19.
In a time when marginalized communities around this country are seeing their friends, family, and neighbors die in numbers far out of balance with their piece of the population, the video of George Floyd's murder surfaces.
This is another one. We've seen Mike Brown, Eric Garner, Breonna Taylor, Botham Jean, Ahmaud Arbery (I'm sorry if I've misspelled any of the names) and countless other black men and women killed in situations and ways that, as a white man, I can't fathom becoming fatal.
No one should die because they go for a jog. No one should die in their own apartment from a home invasion, especially if that invasion is from a police officer.
Please don't come at me with a #NotAll whatever. I know that. No one is, in good faith, arguing that all police officers, or white people, or protesters, or anything are bad. I've seen countless examples of protesters protecting police officers or trying to talk bad actors in their ranks down. I've seen countless examples of members of various police forces laying down arms, taking off tactical gear, and otherwise joining the ranks of the protesters. I absolutely believe that the majority of police officers are on the side of justice.
If I was found with my knee in the neck of a dead man, I'd be in jail. Period. I understand that there are many circumstances wherein a law enforcement officer has to use lethal force to keep people safe. Nothing in the George Floyd case indicates the officer on his neck was protecting the greater public safety. I've seen it was a bad check, I've also seen that it was a counterfeit bill. Neither of those things should be a death sentence.
I've heard Floyd resisted arrest. I haven't watched the longer video because after watching the Ahmaud Arbery video and the initial George Floyd, I've no interest in watching as another black man is murdered extrajudicially. I don't want to watch video of people dying.
Even if he did resist, which I've mostly seen that the longer video doesn't conclusively show, that's still not cause for the officer, whose name I've no interest in repeating, to kneel on his neck at all. That's not, as far as I know, an approved restraint technique. If I'm wrong about that, I'll happily amend this post. Please let me know, friends who are in law enforcement, if I'm mistaken here.
So, this happens on Monday. The officer who killed George Floyd isn't arrested until Friday. The other officers, who are complicit in NOT STOPPING MURDER, should have been arrested as well. It should've happened Tuesday.
So we have protests. And protests that turn violent. I do not condone the looting or any form of violence. One has to acknowledge, however, that there are reports of outside instigators, and that many of those damaging property are not the BLM protesters. I don't know. I just want to make sure I'm as fair as I can be.
Kaepernick peacefully took a knee on the sidelines. That wasn't okay. Celebrities protest at awards shows peacefully. That's not okay. Peaceful protests that disrupt traffic aren't okay. The message delivered is that peaceful protest is fine, so long as I don't have to know about it. That doesn't seem to make much sense.
I hate seeing cities that I love fall into chaos in the hours after dark. I hate seeing these peaceful protests get a bad name by the actions of a few bad actors (or maybe outside instigators). I hate seeing the actions of a number of police officers give a bad name to the officers and departments around this country who are trying to work in concert with their communities.
There are so many more things that I can do. I know I am not doing everything I can. I'm trying to learn. I'm trying to do better everyday. I want to be a better advocate for marginalized communities.
I realize that even the language I've used here may be biased. It's my own fault. I am sure that I have biases that I don't know about, so haven't been able to work on. I'm trying to do better.
To those hurting; to those who feel like their voices go unheard, their calls unheeded; to people whose daily existence involves constant fear; to anyone who feels hopeless; I want to hear you. I want to help. I am on your side, even if things I do or say don't always say or do the right thing.
I have to end this by acknowledging that in the past I've used slurs, told racist jokes, and exhibited behaviors that are in exact contrast to what I'm putting out there in this post and in how I try to live my life day-to-day. It was wrong then. I don't care if it was a different time or I was young and didn't know. It was wrong and I'm deeply sorry that I did those things, whether it directly hurt someone or not. It isn't right.
I know I still make mistakes every day. If we expect perfection of ourselves, then we're setting ourselves up to fail. I promise to acknowledge and correct mistakes. I apologize to anyone who I may have hurt from being careless or outright hurtful, because I've done both.
If I can't work on me, I can't walk with the people who I want to help lift up. We all have to acknowledge our shortcomings before we can help this country move forward.
Showing posts with label race. Show all posts
Showing posts with label race. Show all posts
Sunday, May 31, 2020
Tuesday, June 25, 2019
Who do you think you are?
So, this post was inspired by church over the weekend. You can skip the next two paragraphs cause I promise this will go someplace political. Oops. Okay. Yeap. See many of you later. It's been real. Sunday's scripture was Galatians 3:26-28. It says:
However, the sermon started simply with the pastor asking each of us to close our eyes and think about how we identify ourselves. What words do we use? I came up with tall, skinny, athletic, husband, father.
As the sermon went on, I realized three things I didn't think of: straight, white, male. This, my friends, is where this becomes a privilege conversation, and an unintentionally themed Pride Month post.
Why didn't I think of any of those three things? Well, because those are the privilege trifecta. Never have I had to worry that my race, gender, or orientation would have a detrimental impact on my station in life. I'm going to work backwards here.
Being male means that historically, my gender has had the "power" as it were. Now, I hope I've never been one to abuse this power, but I know I've been a damn moron at times in my life, so I apologize for my actions, not if people were hurt by them, but rather I apologize for actions that I took that offended people. I should've been better.
This particular categorization shows up in athletics. Picture this: high school basketball game, your kid's team is down. They can play with this team, but they've had a bit of a run in the last, say, five minutes, and the other team clearly has the upper hand. Coach calls timeout. When the players get to the sideline, the coach lays out what's happening technically, then says, "And most importantly, smile! Look like you're having fun out there."
Now, did that coach say that to a team of male or female basketball players. You having a hard time picturing a bunch of sweaty dudes being told to "smile" in the heat of battle? Yeah, me too. In fact, I'm guessing a lot of you would probably have words with the coach after the game if he'd said that to your son's team.
However, we'll yell that from the sidelines of a girls' sporting event. We might even expect the coach to say that. Why? Well, smiling does two things. 1) It helps instill confidence and overall positive feelings and 2) Makes a person more attractive (except for me in pictures, but that's a whole other post...). We don't say that to male athletes. I don't say that to female athletes. I tell the girls to get in there, shoulders back, chin up, and believe they can outplay their opponent.
In my chosen career, the payscales are probably more balanced than most, although I can't say that with certainty and I won't research it THANK YOU VERY MUCH! And while studies are all over the map on the gender pay gap, the reality is that it does exist, and it's something that needs to be fixed.
Next up: White. I'm white. You know why I never think of myself that way? Because white Europeans founded this country and ever since that day, many have decided that we're superior to other skin colors because...? Actually, I don't know. I don't know how you can look at any other person of any other skin color and decide that the thing, the thing that makes you better than them is the color of your flesh that you've worked SO HARD to achieve. Wait. No, actually, you haven't. To quote Lady Gaga, "You were born this way." (I love that song)
History books used in American schools have a very western-centric bias. Seems like people like Copernicus really helped push science forward. Except that was the 16th century. You know what we needed to even start to figure that out? Algebra which was invented in the 9th century by Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi in what is now Baghdad. Irrigation, a staple of western, especially American, agriculture, was first used by the Egyptians around 3100 BCE. Did western cultures invent and discover a lot of cool stuff? Yes! What is disproportionate to other parts of the world? NO!
Finally, straight. I am straight. I was terrible to some of the kids in my high school who were either brave enough to be out, or dealing with the pain of staying in the closet at a time when acceptance of LGBTQ+ was not near what it is now, which is terrible. I realize those people may not read this, but I'm deeply sorry for the actions that I took that caused pain. There is no excuse.
One of the refrains you here frequently during Pride Month is, "Why isn't there a straight pride month?" The answer to that, I think, is pretty simple. That's dumb. Being straight has been not only societally acceptable, but even expected, for nearly all of human history. We all know how recent steps toward equality for members of the LGBTQ+ community have been. The first steps. There are many more needed.
Why isn't there straight pride? Because we don't need to walk around declaring who we are. We haven't had to fight to have our love legally recognized and all the benefits that come along with that. While I don't, for a minute, think being LGBTQ+ is a choice, I frankly don't understand what difference it makes. Love as thou wilt. And don't come at me with the bathroom debate. That entire discussion is based on falsehood.
My takeaway from the pastor's sermon on Sunday was that the idea of equality, true equality, dates back to pre-biblical times. It also drives home the idea that Christianity is a faith based on love and loving equally. I've never been perfect, I never will be, but I'm trying to be better everyday. Church just got me thinking the other day.
- In Christ, you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who are baptized in Christ have clothed yourself with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ.
However, the sermon started simply with the pastor asking each of us to close our eyes and think about how we identify ourselves. What words do we use? I came up with tall, skinny, athletic, husband, father.
As the sermon went on, I realized three things I didn't think of: straight, white, male. This, my friends, is where this becomes a privilege conversation, and an unintentionally themed Pride Month post.
Why didn't I think of any of those three things? Well, because those are the privilege trifecta. Never have I had to worry that my race, gender, or orientation would have a detrimental impact on my station in life. I'm going to work backwards here.
Being male means that historically, my gender has had the "power" as it were. Now, I hope I've never been one to abuse this power, but I know I've been a damn moron at times in my life, so I apologize for my actions, not if people were hurt by them, but rather I apologize for actions that I took that offended people. I should've been better.
This particular categorization shows up in athletics. Picture this: high school basketball game, your kid's team is down. They can play with this team, but they've had a bit of a run in the last, say, five minutes, and the other team clearly has the upper hand. Coach calls timeout. When the players get to the sideline, the coach lays out what's happening technically, then says, "And most importantly, smile! Look like you're having fun out there."
Now, did that coach say that to a team of male or female basketball players. You having a hard time picturing a bunch of sweaty dudes being told to "smile" in the heat of battle? Yeah, me too. In fact, I'm guessing a lot of you would probably have words with the coach after the game if he'd said that to your son's team.
However, we'll yell that from the sidelines of a girls' sporting event. We might even expect the coach to say that. Why? Well, smiling does two things. 1) It helps instill confidence and overall positive feelings and 2) Makes a person more attractive (except for me in pictures, but that's a whole other post...). We don't say that to male athletes. I don't say that to female athletes. I tell the girls to get in there, shoulders back, chin up, and believe they can outplay their opponent.
In my chosen career, the payscales are probably more balanced than most, although I can't say that with certainty and I won't research it THANK YOU VERY MUCH! And while studies are all over the map on the gender pay gap, the reality is that it does exist, and it's something that needs to be fixed.
Next up: White. I'm white. You know why I never think of myself that way? Because white Europeans founded this country and ever since that day, many have decided that we're superior to other skin colors because...? Actually, I don't know. I don't know how you can look at any other person of any other skin color and decide that the thing, the thing that makes you better than them is the color of your flesh that you've worked SO HARD to achieve. Wait. No, actually, you haven't. To quote Lady Gaga, "You were born this way." (I love that song)
History books used in American schools have a very western-centric bias. Seems like people like Copernicus really helped push science forward. Except that was the 16th century. You know what we needed to even start to figure that out? Algebra which was invented in the 9th century by Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi in what is now Baghdad. Irrigation, a staple of western, especially American, agriculture, was first used by the Egyptians around 3100 BCE. Did western cultures invent and discover a lot of cool stuff? Yes! What is disproportionate to other parts of the world? NO!
Finally, straight. I am straight. I was terrible to some of the kids in my high school who were either brave enough to be out, or dealing with the pain of staying in the closet at a time when acceptance of LGBTQ+ was not near what it is now, which is terrible. I realize those people may not read this, but I'm deeply sorry for the actions that I took that caused pain. There is no excuse.
One of the refrains you here frequently during Pride Month is, "Why isn't there a straight pride month?" The answer to that, I think, is pretty simple. That's dumb. Being straight has been not only societally acceptable, but even expected, for nearly all of human history. We all know how recent steps toward equality for members of the LGBTQ+ community have been. The first steps. There are many more needed.
Why isn't there straight pride? Because we don't need to walk around declaring who we are. We haven't had to fight to have our love legally recognized and all the benefits that come along with that. While I don't, for a minute, think being LGBTQ+ is a choice, I frankly don't understand what difference it makes. Love as thou wilt. And don't come at me with the bathroom debate. That entire discussion is based on falsehood.
My takeaway from the pastor's sermon on Sunday was that the idea of equality, true equality, dates back to pre-biblical times. It also drives home the idea that Christianity is a faith based on love and loving equally. I've never been perfect, I never will be, but I'm trying to be better everyday. Church just got me thinking the other day.
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