Friday, August 30, 2019

Worst Summer Ever

I'm sorry it's taken so long to get to this post. Frankly, I've been working to find something to post about for awhile. I wanted to post about change, but I couldn't quite pull together a post. Maybe it's coming. However, this one's come to the fore lately.

I don't know that I've put all of this in the same place aside from my head. In fact, it's hard to type. It's hard to put down because I'm the kind of person who rarely puts his personal stuff out there. That's got a lot to do with the fact that I've never felt like my problems warranted others' time.

So moving on to heart of this. For the rest of this entry, understand that "summer" basically means spring and summer.

The Worst Summer Ever (yes, it warrants capitalization) started on the 7th of April when my dad called me while we were in Toronto to tell me that my uncle had completed suicide. As with anyone when they find out that this kind of a thing has happened, there were a series of emotions, none of them positive. While grief was the primary, there were so many others that I was unaccustomed to.

While the way that we came into is awful, the fact that we are now the caretakers of Noble's car, one of the MR2 Spyders from the movie 2 Fast 2 Furious. It's currently in the process of some serious bodywork due to the fact that movie studios should not build cars. It has its own Instagram, @mr2_fast_lnk.

We were in Toronto when we got the news about my uncle. We got back from Canada on the following Wednesday. That Friday I was told that I would no longer be the volleyball coach at Dorchester. I've already dealt with that one, so I'll leave it alone here, see previous posts for that information, but there were more developments there later in the summer.

I found a job in Weeping Water as, wait for it, head volleyball coach and fourth grade teacher. It meant our planned move was to a different place than we'd originally intended, but we found a house we loved and went under contract on May 20. We knew it when we bought it, but it's now August 30 and we still haven't moved. We knew it from the time we signed the contract, but it feels like FOREVER now. I took my parents to see the house when they were in town. I just wanted to stay. I can't wait.

Before finding that house, we learned that Blue Blood was closing. I found out because Keya saw a post from one of the local news stations on Twitter. We were investors. That was frustrating. There were a multitude of reasons that it went down the way it did, but it was a total surprise. Again, there's more going on there, but I won't, and kinda can't, go in to it here.

Shortly after that, I had to head to Naples, Florida to pick up the MR2. That trip was fine except for traffic in Atlanta that made what should've been a 12-ish hour drive from Cape Coral, Florida to Nashville, Tennessee more like 14 hours.

I don't remember where this fell, but I know it was before we put our house on the market because we were told that having Thunder in the house was probably not going to be conducive to selling. We couldn't find anyone who'd take him temporarily, and his quality of life had definitely fallen since Everett came along, so we made the decision to surrender him to the humane society. He's got a lot of life left and we wanted him to feel as loved as he had been before we started watching TV exclusively in the basement. The task fell to me while Keya was at work and Everett was at daycare. Even now I can feel that same catch in my throat thinking about it. I'm glad it was me, but the fact that it had to happen at all was terrible. We love that bunny, and we're just glad he's living a great life someplace else. I definitely felt like a failure as a pet owner.

One of the things we worried the most about what Everett's reaction. He was the only human in the house that Thunder regularly tolerated. If he'd have gotten upset it might've broken all three of us. However, while there seemed to be a recognition that something was different, it didn't really faze him.

We finally put our house on the market in late June and had a buyer in early July. The buyer agreed to close after we were scheduled to close on our house, which was wonderful. However, from there our buyer's been a huge pain. It's a long story, but when the inspection came back, which was pretty good, the buyer wanted EVERYTHING fixed, including things that don't need attention anywhere near immediately. On top of that, it wasn't good enough that I made some repairs. The buyer wanted a contractor to do all of that work, including caulking that was bid at $750 for a door, a window, and the garage doors. Just around the edge. 100 linear feet of caulk. We did not pay that much. It got to the point where the buyer's agent said that the offer would be pulled if we didn't give in. We didn't. The offer didn't get pulled. The buyer's agent also said to our agent at one point, "I don't know what kind of clients you have, but..." Like, what the hell lady? Your client is buying our house. I'm sorry we want to save money in this process.

The last Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday of July is coaches' clinic in Nebraska. I love going because I get to hear from high-level coaches and get my head wrapped around the new high school season. A lot of people asked my why I was wearing different colors and I told them. I make no secret that I felt like the reasons given to me as to why I was no longer the Dorchester volleyball coach were not true. Well, even though I had put it to bed and moved on, it came back. I talked to a buddy of mine at coaches' clinic about the Dorchester situation. By now I'd heard from a couple of coaches who'd seen Dorchester at summer camps and thought the didn't look near as good as they had the year before. I believe the exact words I used were, "Sounds like they're down this year. Their two best players are gone, one to Waverly and the other to Crete." In the interest of total honesty, I probably should've chose my words better and said two best hitters, but I didn't. I did however say that, as I had many times that day, I was rooting for Dorchester in every match but one, since Weeping Water plays Dorchester in early September. Well, that friend I was talking to had his assistant football coach there who is the nephew of one of the teachers at Dorchester. Well, he had left before I said how I'd be rooting for them the rest of the summer. That night, Keay got a Facebook Messenger message from the wife of my former AD whose nephew had been there. She lit into Keya (not me) for my immaturity and how multiple girls had gone to admin saying that if I was the volleyball coach at Dorchester, they wouldn't play. I had asked SPECIFICALLY if there had been a problem with my coaching or my interactions with the athletes. I had poked trying to find out why I was being "dismissed" as the head volleyball coach. Nope, it was commitment (again, see previous posts for the more on that). This certainly didn't seem like that was the case. In addition, before Keya was done reading the message, she'd been blocked. Let's say we were frustrated. This was after the first day of the coaches' clinic. I was sure I'd see my former co-worker the next day, the AD and husband of the texter, so I sent him a text saying I was sorry, I'd chosen my words poorly and I'd never say a negative thing about my former players, something else that was said in the now-infamous text. I also said I understood if he didn't want to talk to me. I didn't even get a reply. To be clear, I did not then and still do not harbor a grudge against Dorchester. However, it felt in my last couple years like I wasn't really welcome there any longer. I'm still not sure why, but I'm disappointed. I know I was never perfect, but I thought I did the best I could to help the kids I was working with succeed and still haven't heard anything to the contrary.

Oof. That last bit was long. I'm sorry about that. I was trying to keep this paragraphed by event. I swear to all that's holy I really don't have any particular bitterness or grudge toward Dorchester. I got a lot from that town. I'm grateful for what I learned and how I could grow there.

My family has been spectacular through this entire summer. Keya and Everett have been my consistent positive. I'm unbelievably blessed.

I also have to acknowledge that relative to some people's lives, this may rank as a relatively tame summer but for me, emotionally, it sucked. Like I've said, there are other parts of these things that I can't or won't post on here.

I am an incredibly blessed man. I will never lose sight of that. Once this move is over, I know life will relax a bit. I still enjoy my life and know I've been unbelievably fortunate. I'll be fine. I am fine. I just wanted to share this all with you.

Thanks again for reading. I know this has been kinda heavy lately, but this has what's been on my mind and heart. I got a lot of good to talk about, so I'll get back to that.

I'd love follows on other social platforms. I've never mentioned that here, but my twitter is @coach_ty6, and my instagram (ya know, not our car's) is @coachty6.

Take care!