Monday, November 12, 2012

The Games We Play

I got to thinking the other day about the silly games and rules we had growing up.  I got to thinking about this because I was on my way home from (random) drive thru and almost dibsed the bag fries.  To no one.  I was alone in the car and immediately reverted to being the driver in high school.  The... inconvenience..? of driving led to us creating the rule that the driver got the bag fries.  I was in college before I realised that not everyone followed the same rules we did in high school.  We also made up countless games.  Those rules/games included:

Shotgun rules
You had to be within sight of the car before you called shotgun, otherwise it was null and void.  Also, you could call seniority once a day if you were older (time in the friendship didn't matter) than the person who'd called shotgun.  Unless that person was RJ in my car, or me in RJ's car.  We had permagun.  In fact, I still outrank his wife, and he my fiance.  Yeap, we've CERTAINLY grown since high school.  Also, I still get gun in RJ's car.  No matter what.
Music rules
The driver picks the music.  Period.  This one led to controversy on more than one occasion if people's musical tastes were too different.
Don't Hit the Blue Pipe
This only came up once.  We were taking Ben Vinson home.  Along 111th north of Arapahoe in Lafayette, it was dirt at the time, and they were laying pipe to run water up toward the new developments going in near Erie.  I had a sporty car.  Wait, no, I drove a Buick Park Avenue, but it was a dirt road, and I knew how to get a little bit sideways with it.  As we're approaching 70 mph, I start swerving, hoping to get the rear end a little loose.  Well, I did. We had joked earlier in the drive that the only rule was to not hit the blue pipe.  Welp, as I am CLEARLY out of control at 70 mph, Ben screams, "DON'T HIT THE BLUE PIPE!"  You'll be happy to know I didn't.  I got the car stuck in the ditch on the other side of the road.  I thought for sure I was dead (at my dad's hand in the near future).  Next car over the hill?  Chevy 1-ton with a chain.  Pulled me right out.  I told mom and dad 10 years ago.
Woogie Ball/Wet and Wild Woogie Baseball
Let's be honest, RJ, Jay, Brian, and I are guilty for most of these stories and games, but that's what lifelong friendships are made of!  I cannot tell you the entire origin story (RJ, B, Jay, please fill my readers in in the comments section) in it's entirety, but I know the necessary components are a tee ball bat and a kickball. Oh, and three-four players.  Without too much detail (as I don't want this to get too long) the batter gets ten contacts.  They have to be solid (forward or a catchable foul).  If it flies over the fence, it's two runs.  If it bounces, one run.  The outfielder(s) can do anything in their power to prevent the ball from going over the fence.  It was perfect because we only needed three total people to play!  The game was so named because when you hit a kickball with a tee ball bat, it shudders in and out (woobie-woobie-woobie), but woobieball is too damn hard to say, thus woogie.  One summer day, we were bored with slip and slide, and it was too hot for woogie.  Suddenly, a wild idea appeared to our heads.  Wet and wild woogie baseball.  All the joy of woogieball (Same basic rules) combined with baseball's rules.  The special rule is that you HAD to slide from third to home on the slip and slide.  And kickball rules were in effect, in that you could throw the ball at the runner, not just tag them.  It led to too many times where you'd be sliding, helpless, as a dead eye from the neighbor's yard throwing you out because you can't stop yourself terribly effectively on a slip and slide.
Party Rules
Before Hixson, Trevor and I went drinking, we had to do a double shot of Bacardi 151.  Death.  Awesome, vomitorious death.
Yellow Lights
If you were going through a yellow light, you had to kiss your hand, and tap the visor/ceiling of the car.
If you saw a car with a headlight out, you had to yell PADIDDLE!  Everyone else had to yell SEX!  The last person had to remove an article of clothing.  Yeah, this never happened when I was in the car.  I heard rumors, though.
Seat Pirate Rules
Whenever you leave the room, you have to dibs the seat or it's up for grabs.  However, you can pirate the seat whilst yelling "Yar!"  If the yar is not correctly timed, then you have to give up the seat.

Girls, I have to ask a question.  Almost everything I got from girls was "When you picked a (boy, celebrity, TV character, etc) none of your friends were allowed to pick that.  I thoroughly believe that grudges are still held from this rule being violated.  Guys, as soon as a girl showed interest, the others had to lament, but there was no "calling" the girl.  This led to some... we'll call them awkward moments the summer of 2001 thanks to Jungle Joe and I. SORRY DAVE!  We also had no rules regarding who we could have celebrity crushes on.  If a couple of guys had a crush on the same girl, the discussion was more the things we'd do to her, not the beginning of a grudge.

From the days before cable TV and a TV in every room: If you wanted to watch your show, you had to dibs the show and the TV as soon as you came into the room.  This is courtesy of Elise Graninger.

I have heard some of the most amazing quotes of late.
"I can star in a porn, but I can't get my wife pregnant." -I will keep this one anonymous.
"Yeah, I used to have stuff, too." -My future father-in-law as he was helping with my move
"What are the Mayans up to right now, anyway?"
"Stealing American jobs, right?" -My co-worker and I (sarcasm, please) talking about the prediction of the end of the world.

Anyway.  Any more stories about childhood debauchery/games/rules?  Add them in the comments section or on FB.  As always, thanks for reading!

Also, we will be in Colorado Thanksgiving - the Sunday after.  Not making promises, but would like to see lots of people.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Final Election Thoughts

I had NO intention of writing a blog on the elections, but I posted a status this morning, and it was FB status length, and I need to clarify and hopefully undo the way I may have offended some people.  I am not, however, backing down off of what I said earlier.

As the election went on, and this morning, some of my FB friends threatened to leave the country for Canada and/or London if their chosen candidate (usually Romney) lost the election.  To those people I said this morning, and I say again, good bye and (frankly) good riddance.  I'm sorry if this offends you, and I'll explain myself more later, but let that simmer.

That statement was not, however, directed at all, or exclusively, conservative voters.  No, only those people who are threatening to move elsewhere strictly because of an election.  I'll back that up again in a minute, too, but I have friends of all different leanings, and they're my friends because they believe what they believe, passionately, and are willing to back it up and fight for what they believe.  I love all of my conservative friends who stand for their beliefs as much as I love my liberal, moderate, etc. friends.  I did not call anyone anything besides selfish this morning, and that was only to a very small sect of people whose statuses on FB this morning (and in previous weeks) threatened to leave the country just because of the results of the election.  I also have a sneaky feeling that you'd be hugely disappointed when you landed in these foreign countries and discover that they are even more liberal than our current administration.

Now, here's why that fires me up so.  That is not an American idea, in my opinion.  We fought for this country in the latter part of the 18th century.  Excuse me, our forefathers fought for this country.  Don't bother me with nitpicky BS about why people originally settled here.  That doesn't change the fact that Washington, Jefferson, Adams, Hancock, etc, fought against all odds to claim our independence from Great Britain.  If we're truly to honor our predecessors, then we shan't run off to another country because things didn't go our way.  We'd stay behind and fight (in a much more 21st century way) for what we believe in.  Make things "right" here.  Even if you can't change people's minds, change their lives.  Do good.  Stand up for what you believe.  My candidate didn't win, but I still love my country.  Like I said this morning, if you're going to leave, your patriotism is showing, and it's broken.  Patriots stay and fight.  Patriots will be honored on Sunday and Monday during Veteran's Day.

I did not call anyone an idiot or question anyone's intelligence this morning.  I am not saying I didn't mean to (I didn't mean to), I'm saying that I didn't.  You allowed yourself to be offended if I offended you, and I'll stick by that.  I offended people who aren't courageous enough to fight for what they believe.