I got to thinking the other day about the silly games and rules we had growing up. I got to thinking about this because I was on my way home from (random) drive thru and almost dibsed the bag fries. To no one. I was alone in the car and immediately reverted to being the driver in high school. The... inconvenience..? of driving led to us creating the rule that the driver got the bag fries. I was in college before I realised that not everyone followed the same rules we did in high school. We also made up countless games. Those rules/games included:
You had to be within sight of the car before you called shotgun, otherwise it was null and void. Also, you could call seniority once a day if you were older (time in the friendship didn't matter) than the person who'd called shotgun. Unless that person was RJ in my car, or me in RJ's car. We had permagun. In fact, I still outrank his wife, and he my fiance. Yeap, we've CERTAINLY grown since high school. Also, I still get gun in RJ's car. No matter what.
The driver picks the music. Period. This one led to controversy on more than one occasion if people's musical tastes were too different.
Don't Hit the Blue Pipe
This only came up once. We were taking Ben Vinson home. Along 111th north of Arapahoe in Lafayette, it was dirt at the time, and they were laying pipe to run water up toward the new developments going in near Erie. I had a sporty car. Wait, no, I drove a Buick Park Avenue, but it was a dirt road, and I knew how to get a little bit sideways with it. As we're approaching 70 mph, I start swerving, hoping to get the rear end a little loose. Well, I did. We had joked earlier in the drive that the only rule was to not hit the blue pipe. Welp, as I am CLEARLY out of control at 70 mph, Ben screams, "DON'T HIT THE BLUE PIPE!" You'll be happy to know I didn't. I got the car stuck in the ditch on the other side of the road. I thought for sure I was dead (at my dad's hand in the near future). Next car over the hill? Chevy 1-ton with a chain. Pulled me right out. I told mom and dad 10 years ago.
Woogie Ball/Wet and Wild Woogie Baseball
Let's be honest, RJ, Jay, Brian, and I are guilty for most of these stories and games, but that's what lifelong friendships are made of! I cannot tell you the entire origin story (RJ, B, Jay, please fill my readers in in the comments section) in it's entirety, but I know the necessary components are a tee ball bat and a kickball. Oh, and three-four players. Without too much detail (as I don't want this to get too long) the batter gets ten contacts. They have to be solid (forward or a catchable foul). If it flies over the fence, it's two runs. If it bounces, one run. The outfielder(s) can do anything in their power to prevent the ball from going over the fence. It was perfect because we only needed three total people to play! The game was so named because when you hit a kickball with a tee ball bat, it shudders in and out (woobie-woobie-woobie), but woobieball is too damn hard to say, thus woogie. One summer day, we were bored with slip and slide, and it was too hot for woogie. Suddenly, a wild idea appeared to our heads. Wet and wild woogie baseball. All the joy of woogieball (Same basic rules) combined with baseball's rules. The special rule is that you HAD to slide from third to home on the slip and slide. And kickball rules were in effect, in that you could throw the ball at the runner, not just tag them. It led to too many times where you'd be sliding, helpless, as a dead eye from the neighbor's yard throwing you out because you can't stop yourself terribly effectively on a slip and slide.
Before Hixson, Trevor and I went drinking, we had to do a double shot of Bacardi 151. Death. Awesome, vomitorious death.
If you were going through a yellow light, you had to kiss your hand, and tap the visor/ceiling of the car.
If you saw a car with a headlight out, you had to yell PADIDDLE! Everyone else had to yell SEX! The last person had to remove an article of clothing. Yeah, this never happened when I was in the car. I heard rumors, though.
Seat Pirate Rules
Whenever you leave the room, you have to dibs the seat or it's up for grabs. However, you can pirate the seat whilst yelling "Yar!" If the yar is not correctly timed, then you have to give up the seat.
Girls, I have to ask a question. Almost everything I got from girls was "When you picked a (boy, celebrity, TV character, etc) none of your friends were allowed to pick that. I thoroughly believe that grudges are still held from this rule being violated. Guys, as soon as a girl showed interest, the others had to lament, but there was no "calling" the girl. This led to some... we'll call them awkward moments the summer of 2001 thanks to Jungle Joe and I. SORRY DAVE! We also had no rules regarding who we could have celebrity crushes on. If a couple of guys had a crush on the same girl, the discussion was more the things we'd do to her, not the beginning of a grudge.
From the days before cable TV and a TV in every room: If you wanted to watch your show, you had to dibs the show and the TV as soon as you came into the room. This is courtesy of Elise Graninger.
I have heard some of the most amazing quotes of late.
"I can star in a porn, but I can't get my wife pregnant." -I will keep this one anonymous.
"Yeah, I used to have stuff, too." -My future father-in-law as he was helping with my move
"What are the Mayans up to right now, anyway?"
"Stealing American jobs, right?" -My co-worker and I (sarcasm, please) talking about the prediction of the end of the world.
Anyway. Any more stories about childhood debauchery/games/rules? Add them in the comments section or on FB. As always, thanks for reading!
Also, we will be in Colorado Thanksgiving - the Sunday after. Not making promises, but would like to see lots of people.
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